Frankenstein (2025)
Premise: Blabla, trauma after your mothers death, blabla there weren’t bats around so you didn’t become a megafascist vigilante, blabla it’s alive, blabla oh no we shouldn’t have toyed with this, bla.
I mean, I think you know this one: this is a movie about shooting blood out of your c-
Under 90 minutes? Two hours and a half, which is way, way too much.
Do they say the title? Little known fact, Frankenstein is not the name of the creature, he’s actually called Doki Doki Panic in Japan! [extremely nerdy, inexplicably smug smile]
First thing I thought of:
Okay, more: Yeah I mean. I think I am the only person in the universe who actually really liked Crimson Peak because it was a gorgeous movie even though the plot itself was nothing special. I like Guillermo del Toro (most famous for his masterpiece, Pacific Rim), I think he’s got a great style and he’s amazingly good at the whole “otherness” thing. Still, this movie felt a bit too self indulging at times: we really didn’t need a full hour of Victor’s backstory, it took way, way too long to get to the fireworks factory and then it’s like suddenly everything is resolved and boom we’re done. I really wanted to like this one and honestly, i didn’t have a bad time in any way, but I kinda hoped it was going to be a way better movie. Eggers’ Nosferatu definitely wins here…
A simple way to improve it: So our wonderful eyebrowless muse, Mia Goth, plays not one but two roles here and wears the most amazing dresses, but she doesn’t really have room to shine as she should. Let’s fully embrace the whole dumb Bram Stoker’s Dracula kind of look and go for way, way more Mia Goth, playing most of the roles and wearing a different outfit on each scene. Copyright Impeccable Taste 2025, please call me if you need more ideas for amazing movies.
Trivia about the IMDb trivia:
The film takes place in 1855, but the automatic umbrella was not created until 1885, 30 years later.
Trust me, there was a LOT of dumb takes to choose from but I think this level of nitpicking deserves recognition. This guy was clearly aching for a moment where he could drop this piece of trivia and thanks to Guillermo del Toro he’s now got a permanent monument to dumb as hell information that will never be useful for anything.
