Human Zoo (2020)
Premise: New reality show! You and like ten other randos sign up for solitary confinement! They’ll lock you up in a tiny tiny room and if you’re the last one to give up, you win one oh wait, two million dollars! Easy peasy! And if it is too much you just gotta do this sign with your arms and say “I quit” and that’s it!
or is it…?
Yeah it’s not, it’s a horror movie.
Under 90 minutes? Goodness, no, it’s almost two hours long for some reason
Do they say the title? Nope.
First thing I thought of:
Okay, more: So, uh. Where to begin. The first twenty-or-so minutes of the film are some of the most awkward, my-first-gig-acting thing in the universe, with a reality tv show casting going on so we can meet the contestants (and some of the disqualified ones). It kinda feels like a fair warning about what will happen next but whatever, if anything here at Impeccable Taste HQ we’ve shown we’re resilient to the point of stubbornness. Then they are locked in the tiny rooms and, well, we see them basically go crazy and cry and uh that’s it. The movie ends all of a sudden and that’s that, there’s no twist, there’s no commentary, there’s nothing going on. It’s such a bad and incompetent movie it is almost amazing, but not “haha you gotta watch this” amazing, just “goodness that was two hours of my life i could have spent watching paint dry”. I guess sometimes you shouldn’t be so stubborn, that must be the moral? That and “hey, if you see the name of these writers or directors in the future, just skip it!”. And on top of that, well it’s the third movie review in 2026 and I think we’ve already found the worst one of the year! Good job everyone!
Goodness gracious, according to IMDb there’s a sequel being filmed right now. What the everliving hell.
A simple way to improve it: Uh er. I mean. Don’t make it an almost two hours long thing, hire actors that can actually deliver solo performances, have a script that is more involved than “now you caged go hog wild with that”, don’t rely so much on a shock factor that might not even be there, try to have some kind of point, or, if all that is too difficult, add fart jokes.
Trivia about the IMDb trivia:
There was over one hundred hours of footage to go through by the end of filming. The first rough cut of the film was over fourteen hours long. In contrast, the original script was nine pages long.
On one hand, that’s clearly some trivia written by someone involved in the production if I ever saw one. On the other hand,
