The Monkey (2025)

Premise: This is a movie based on a short story by Richard Bachman’s Batman to his Bruce Wayne, Stephen King, that I think I read like thirty years ago or something and to be very honest the only thing I remember from that one was that it featured a creepy monkey doll and that by the end they went to Friday the 13th’s Crystal Lake for some reason I didn’t get back then (the reason was cocaine).
Anyway, the basic premise is that you have a couple of twins, and of course that means one of them is lame as hell and the other one is an asshole. They inherit this creepy as fuck monkey toy thing: that alone would be bad but the thing is, anytime anyone makes the monkey play its drums someone dies in an extremely over the top way. So, yes, this is another entry in that comedy horror subgenre: “why the hell would you bring that thing home????”
Under 90 minutes? it’s so very close, but no!
Do they say the title? Oh of course they do, it would be really weird if they tried to avoid that. Weird but maybe funny, I’m not sure. It got a bit tiring when every single superhero movie started doing that “spandex uniforms? gee that’d be lame jims the camera and winks” so.

One sentence review: 2025’s dumbest, goriest, funniest movie?
Rating: Unapologetically DUMB (the good kind of dumb, mind you), with some extremely deadpan, stupid as hell dialogue lines, with explosions of gore and gibbs and people basically being vaporized on screen. A TON of delightfully messy practical effects with just the right amount of cgi. I don’t know, I had a great time. It probably helps that in the current ‘elevated horror’ wave (a style I like, mind you) where every scary movie is actually not about cool spooky stuff but about trauma and metaphors and repressed feelings and disliking your dad a lot and winning awards you get a movie that is so uh what you see is what you get, and what you get is a creepy monkey.
A simple way to improve it: There’s this lady that basically kevinmccallisters herself to death and I think that scene would have been just delightful if it featured John William’s music from that scene where they’re rushing to the airport.

Trivia about the IMDb trivia your favourite blog:

Last Spooktober I reviewed an excellent, and I mean excellent, movie called Oddity where the IMDb trivia was about someone who spotted a creepy monkey toy and could only think about the short story this movie is based on.

So I guess I should create an IMDb account and add this to the trivia section:

this movie is clearly inspired by that creepy monkey thing on Oddity (2024)

also the next song is about shooting blood out o-