Thinner (1996)

Premise: Based on a novel by Richard Bachman, who was a writer played by Stephen King, who is an actor you might know from Creepshow, that one episode of The Simpsons or specially Maximum Overdrive (his directorial debut), comes this movie!
And what a delightful movie it is, a tale as old as time! (read the summary aloud without pausing to take a breath for extra fun)

the tale of a fat lawyer for the mafia who on top of being sorta evil… accidentally but very fatly kills a lady on a car accident while receiving a blowjob - and get this: he has no regrets! so he gets cursed… cursed to get THINNER and THINNER!

I think either Hans Christian Andersen or one of the Super Grimm Bros wrote about this. At this point I don’t know.
Under 90 minutes? almost but no, it goes over the golden mark.
Do they say the title? Oooh, not only they do, it’s the thing someone whispers to curse our main guy so of course this gets full marks.

One sentence review: The much awaited prequel to HBO’s The Penguin doesn’t disappoint…
Rating: Honestly, this was pretty bad BUT it was also pretty dumb in that charming, “goodness, they did that” kind of way, so I would say it qualifies as a perfect “I’ve got nothing else to do today so why not” kind of movie. Like, you can do way, way worse just choosing something randomly on netflix so why not go for Ye Olde Reliable Bachman, who also has a cameo on this movie?
A simple way to improve it: So I’m feeling generous, you get three choices:

• spend more than five euros on the fat suit our main guy is wearing
• add fart humour. Like he bends down to get something and farts, fatly, etc
• If that’s not possible, add trombone music anytime he’s doing anything on screen

I’m (surprising no one) very out of shape so I can make fat jokes.

Trivia about the IMDb trivia:

John Candy was Stephen King’s choice to play Billy Halleck, but he turned it down. Candy died a year before filming began.

We were robbed of the perfect version of this movie but I understand Mr Candy was a bit too tired of the fat jokes by then. Also he died, which kind of would have made matters more difficult.