The Woman in the Yard (2025)
Premise: Our main character this time is a very recent widower that is still limping around after the accident where she lost her husband. She lives (you guessed it) in the middle of nowhere with her son, dorter and dog. Things just look sad and kinda depressing because like, the light’s out but also her phone’s run out of battery and stuff like that so it is just one of those days, you know? And to make matters worse suddenly there’s a weird woman sitting in the yard and staring at the house intensely. What does she want? Where did she get that chair from? Is she getting closer? What’s with old people and staring?
Under 90 minutes? Yup, five minutes less than that.
Do they say the title? Almost, they say “there’s a woman in the yard”, not “the woman in the yard” and we are not fans of giving free points here at Impeccable Taste.
One sentence review: More like the woman in the yawn hur hur
Okay, more: the poster for this one looked kinda spooky and like the first few minutes after we are introduced to the titular woman in the yard are a bit unsettling too. I just wish this movie did anything with the premise other than the by now extremely obvious “oh, this is not about ghosts or stuff like that, is it?” thing that every single pretentious horror movie needs to do nowadays. It drags and drags and thinks it’s going to surprise you with something extremely obvious. What a waste.
A simple way to improve it: The main character’s name is Ramona, which of course means her parents named her after Esteso’s greatest hit. We could go for the crappy thing movies do nowadays where they play a very slow version of a famous pop song on piano with just a little kid singing the lyrics for extra spooky factor, but I think it’d be even better if you just had the original song blasting full volume anytime anything even remotely spooky happened.
Trivia about the IMDb trivia:
During filming, snakes were only present on set on Tuesdays and Thursdays, as part of a unique agreement between the producers and the local snake community.
